part of the soul
by Tibby Rose
Summary: It doesn't occur to her that for once, she, Blair Waldorf, might be wrong. The idea seems ridiculous up until the point where he hands her a small, worn notebook, which looks older than her mother's most prized antiques.


**a/n: inspired by caskett fanfictions. possible slight ooc-ness.**

The thing about dating Dan Humphrey-it's different. He isn't distant like Nate sometimes was, and he doesn't pressure her like Chuck. He lets her make the important decisions in their relationship, and most of their arguments are about intelligent things, or over something stupid because she can be a bitch and he can be judgemental. But for the most part, it's easy.

She'd never admit that to him, of course-he'd get that grin on his face and tease her and he'll end up sleeping on the couch. And she doesn't want to do that because even though it's another thing she'll never admit, she doesn't like him sleeping on the couch. She likes him sleeping in _their_ bed, with her, his arm wrapped around her waist, wearing one of his old shirts.

But even more than she loves the late nights watching movies and watching him cook dinner (and every once in a while, him watching her attempting to make dinner), their long and endearing conversations and yes, the sex, she loves his writing. Everything about it, from watching him type to falling asleep on with her head on his shoulder when he's spending long nights writing, to reading the finished text.

She's read all of it. His unfinished stories from his adolescence, his short stories from the past few years of his life, even the assorted pieces about Serena and Vanessa and _her_. She's looked at every scrap piece that he's written on, every document he printed for her, every frayed piece of paper shoved in drawers. She's read it all, because it comforts her. It makes her feel as if she's getting to know Dan better, because everything he's even written ties in with some part of his life in some way.

It doesn't occur to her that for once, she, Blair Waldorf, might be wrong. The idea seems ridiculous up until the point where he hands her a small, worn notebook, which looks older than her mother's most prized antiques.

"Humphrey" she begins slowly, turning the notebook around in her hands "I appreciate the gesture, but I don't think I'll be appearing on _Antiques Roadshow_ anytime soon."

He glares at her, but only briefly, before coming to sit beside her, wrapping his arms around her.

"This" he begins, placing one of his hands over one of her own "Is everything I've ever written that I've kept to just me. Before now, every single piece of writing in there has only been seen by me."

She frowns, running her free hand along the base of the spine. "Before now?" she questions, because she honestly can't believe that Dan's given her something so personal "Are you implying I get to read this?"

He laughs lightly, intertwining their fingers "Yes, Blair. I'm allowing you to read this."

She swallows and blinks back tears, because in all the years she's known Dan, he's never done something like this. Even back when he dated Serena-her best friend would've told her about this. It's almost as if he had given her part of his soul-corny metaphor, but right now, it fits. Because he gave her something he'd never shown anyone else before, and that made her yearn for him more than ever.

She throws her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder before leaning up to kiss him. She never would've expected that she would come to this point with Dan Humphrey, but she knows she's never wanted anything more. And now she has it.

"Thank you, Humphrey" she breathes, pressing her forehead against his "This is honestly the best present I've ever received. Dan-"

"You can thank me later" he grins "But for now, just read." She removes her arms from his neck and instead settles between his legs, leaning against his chest. The book remains in her hands, and she takes a deep breath, before turning over the cover. He's written his name on the first page, and it looks like his handwriting back from when he was a freshmen. She smiles, because without even trying he's made her so happy-just from his name on the page. She traces her finger along it slowly, before turning to the next page and beginning to read.

The first few pages are about a crush on a curly haired best friend, before going in to things about a gorgeous blue eyed blonde. She frowns only twice, and only in those parts where he's mentioned loving the other two girls. If she's completely honest with herself, things like that still make her feel slightly insecure, but then she turns the next page and her breath catches in her throat.

It's her name, scrawled across the top. She'd been mentioned before-as the brunette friend of Serena's or Waldorf, but this was different. Because it was Blair scrawled at the top, in the writing that she now sees more often. She smiles, before rolling her eyes at herself because when did she become a 12 year old girl around Dan Humphrey? But it takes a lot of willpower to stop herself from crying, because she's never been this happy before.

"Well" she begins, because talking is the only thing keeping her from crying "I'm glad you've finally stopped with the 'Waldorf.'"

He chuckles "Just like you stopped with the Humphrey?" She rolls her eyes and slaps him on the arm, before shaking her head and returning to reading. She's not sure if she's ready to read what he's written about her, but he called her Blair so it can't be that bad.

And it's not.

At first, it's just his typical rambling. Up until she started to date him, she didn't know it was possible to ramble in writing, but nothing about their relationship has ever made sense. But then he starts to talk about her, about how she's complicated and way different to the way he thought. About how he thought he didn't like her, but now he's not sure he feels that way anymore. And then he starts to write about their dates and the problems that arose when Chuck and Serena found out, and about three-quarters of the way through the book she comes to the last page he's written in, with five words on it.

_I think I love her._

She blinks, before looking up at him "When did you write this?"

"Just after you left with Louis" she frowns, and he jumps in before she can ask "I wrote it down on the first page I opened up on. That's why it's not in order."

She doesn't know what to stay to that. For once in her life, she can't think up a retort, because she's never felt like this before. He loved her before they were together, but he crashed her wedding, and there's really nothing else to do but tell him she loves him back.

And she does, and the book lays forgotten, until it's late and she comes back from the bathroom to find him writing in it again. She takes it from his, sitting down beside him and resting her head on her shoulder, she begins to read, and it doesn't take her long to finish at all.

_I know I love her._


End file.
